It’s summer—which means some families are preparing to send their kids off to college, while others are knee-deep in campus tours and early decisions. Wherever you are in the process, now is the time to have the conversation most families put off: how college will actually be paid for.
There are few financial decisions more emotionally charged than this one. That’s especially true for high-income families who want to give their children every opportunity without creating blind spots about cost, debt, or tradeoffs.
Over the years, we’ve seen one thing hold true: the earlier the conversation happens, the better the outcomes tend to be. Today, we explore a few thoughts on how to facilitate this conversation in a constructive way that helps prepare our kids for school—and more importantly, for life.
Healthy Dialogue
Families often delay the money talk until a final school decision is on the table. At that point, the conversation is reactive. It’s a far better approach to open the discussion earlier to help frame the decision-making process with your kids involved.
What is your family’s budget for college?
Are you willing to cover everything, or are you expecting the student to participate through work, loans, or scholarships?
Are certain types of schools (private, out-of-state, elite) only on the table if merit aid or other offsets are in play?
Are there incentives for good behavior—or consequences for irresponsible choices?
Our kids play an integral role in selecting their school and career path, and they can’t make that decision without understanding the financial trade-offs.
College Is an ROI Conversation
Our kids are discovering a great deal about themselves during this window, but we still need to teach them about the concept of investing: spending with an intended return. College is not just an expense. It’s a capital allocation decision.
That means it’s fair—and necessary—to ask what kind of return this investment might yield. What are we paying for? What are we hoping to gain?
Making that explicit helps students make better choices and sets the tone for other financial decisions ahead, where the stakes may be even higher.
Tradeoffs Are Healthy
Conversations around budgets, loans, and other constraints are healthy here. College is an ideal time to introduce concepts like:
Opportunity cost: What will this decision limit—or enable—down the line?
Liquidity: Can assets be accessed without disrupting the broader plan?
Long-term implications: What kind of freedom—or pressure—will debt introduce?
College is a chance to begin these conversations while our kids are still under our roof. Better to learn now than for their first lesson to come with a ballooning student loan they didn’t understand.
Questions Worth Asking as a Family
What kind of career or life do they want to build?
Have they had any exposure to people who work in that field?
How important is graduate school or future flexibility?
What do we want to model as a family when it comes to money?
Are we aligned on the difference between cost and value?
These are good questions to ask between spouses and then bring them to your kids. The conversation doesn’t need to be perfect. You just need to start it and work your way toward shared understanding.
Final Word
We’re not here to tell families how much they should or shouldn’t pay for college. We are here to help ensure the plan reflects reality (not assumptions) and that your family’s broader goals are protected along the way.
If you’re trying to figure out how to navigate the conversation, we’re happy to help. Like everything in planning, the earlier we begin, the more options we have.