As many of you might know, we sit down as a family annually and have what we call a Family Vision Meeting. It might sound a little intense (we’ve never let awkwardness keep us from starting), but over time it’s become one of the most meaningful rhythms in our household.
We’re now 10+ years into this habit, our kids are flying the nest, and we’re seeing the fruit when it matters most. It’s been utterly transformative for each of us as individuals and how we support each other as a family.
If you have kids in high school, college, or even young adulthood, this season is a golden opportunity to bring them into conversations that build real-life skills: goal setting, character development, even how to think about money.
Below is an overview of what guides our conversations. If you want the most recent version of the document our family uses, shoot us an email.
Start with the “Why”
When Mae and I first started doing these meetings, our kids were in elementary school. Back then, it was simple: what do we want to be known for as a family? How do we want to treat each other?
As the kids grew, those questions evolved. Now that they’re adults, our meetings focus more on shared values and accountability. We’ll sit down over dinner or take a weekend away and ask:
- How are we doing in our relationships with one another?
- Who outside our circle do we want to be investing in this year?
- Are we living in line with what we say matters most?
It developed a powerful magnet around our family’s core values, and it gave us a format to invite the kids into as they got older.
Give the Kids a Seat at the Table
Our kids have been part of these meetings since middle school. We didn’t want them to be spectators. We wanted them to feel ownership.
Today, they’re in their twenties, and I love watching how they show up. They’ll ask me questions like, “Dad, how’s that goal you shared in January going? Have you been intentional about spending time with those mentors you mentioned?”
Those moments are humbling and powerful. It’s one thing for me to hold my kids accountable. It’s another for them to feel empowered to hold me accountable, too. That’s how family values move from talk to culture.
Make Goal Setting Part of the DNA
When our kids were younger, we wanted them to fall in love with learning, so we paid them to read books. It might sound funny, but it worked. By age 10 they were reading simple biographies. By 15, they were reading Napoleon Hill, John Maxwell, and Robert Kiyosaki.
We didn’t pay for grades or chores, but we paid for personal growth. Sometimes the reward was cash. Sometimes it was a trip with Dad. The point was motivation: finding what lit them up and connecting that to growth.
Now that they’re older, the incentives look different. If one of them hits their reading goal for the year, we might gift to their Roth IRA instead of handing them cash. The principle hasn’t changed. We’re still investing in their development. It just looks more grown-up now.
Model the Behavior You Want to See
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that kids remember what you do far more than what you say.
If we want our kids to grow, they need to see us growing. They need to hear us talk about the books we’re reading, the lessons we’re learning, and the mentors who are challenging us.
One of my favorite memories is sitting front row with my kids at a Simon Sinek event. Watching them take notes, seeing the light bulbs go on… It brought tears to my eyes. I felt how these moments are deposits in their future thinking.
Talk About Money
This is the category of our meetings that tends to surprise people the most. Both of our kids know our entire family net worth, including where each chunk of the balance sheet is and how it is contributing to the family vision.
We don't do that for the fun of it; we do that because Mae and I are trying to build a financial engine for Impact, and my dream is that it will be theirs to steward someday to continue the impact beyond my lifetime. We are training stewards, not consumers. That means we talk about:
- The family balance sheet
- Risk management and entrepreneurship
- Goal setting
- Prioritization of time, focus, and investments
Our kids also have each had to set their own goals and grow in these areas, from reading books to now running entire businesses. We have had to push them to grow in their own capacity here. They have stepped up to each challenge and flourished.
Talk about money with your kids. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Imperfect is far healthier than radio silence.
Remember: Quality Time Comes from Quantity Time
We like to think we can schedule deep, meaningful family conversations, but the truth is: quality time is an accident that happens during quantity time.
You can’t go three months without connecting and expect to have a life-changing talk on demand. It happens because you’re showing up consistently, creating space, and being intentional even when it feels ordinary.
Sometimes we plan a family dinner or weekend retreat and nothing profound happens. Other times, lightning strikes. A book they’re reading connects with something we’ve been talking about, and suddenly we’re having a powerful conversation about purpose, money, or faith. You can’t script that, but you can make room for it.
As You Look Toward January
Here’s my challenge: before the year turns over, plan a time for your own Family Vision Meeting.
You don’t need a big agenda. Just make space for conversation. Ask your kids what they’re dreaming about, what they want to learn, and how they want to grow. Share what you’re learning, too.
As someone who's been doing this for over a decade, I would encourage you to make an event out of it. Go somewhere, book a reservation at an incredible restaurant, or do something memorable.
It’s never too early—or too late—to start normalizing conversations about goals, growth, and family finances. These are the talks that build confidence and connection.
When we create structure around our values, it gives our kids the freedom to become everything they’re meant to be.