I once heard it said that strategy is aligning activity with priorities. I’m sharing this about a week before Christmas, and with how busy schedules are, most of us don’t have 5 minutes to slow down and reflect.
That said, reflection is one of the most important disciplines we can practice if we want to be successful. More so, not all reflection is created equal. Over the years, there are 5 simple questions that have provided a great deal of insight–and change–for me. They’re in the context of financial planning, but like financial planning, they deal with our priorities in nearly every area of life.
In January, we’re going to be releasing a focused batch of resources around vision casting to start the year. Before we can do that, we need to reflect well. I hope you find these helpful.
1. How did we do this year?
There are two ways to answer this question, and I recommend doing both.
First, how do you feel about the last year at a high level?
- How did you spend your time?
- Was anything out of balance or unnecessarily stressful?
- What was great?
- Was it a year you’d want to live again?
The second half of this conversation is about measurable answers.
- When you set your annual benchmarks last January, how did you do compared to them?
- Did you save, give, or do as much as you planned?
- Did you have clear, measurable goals to start with?
- Did you accomplish any of the big goals you wanted to achieve?
One important note on this topic–sometimes, we DON’T hit the goals we set. Our response shouldn’t be shame or avoidance. A review like this is not a pass-fail discussion. It’s a reflect-adjust conversation. Any time we miss our targets is an opportunity to identify a better path.
2. Is there anything we need to celebrate?
I’m not just talking about a head nod and a pat on the back. Celebration is a powerful piece of forging strong identities as a family. Did you hit your savings goal? Did your kids read a certain number of books this year? Promotions? The list goes on.
Look back at the last 12 months. What’s worth celebrating? Do this with each member of your family and shine a light one what went well! A good celebration leaves us equally grateful and hungry–an ideal posture to live from.
3. Is there anything that needs to stop?
When we address what’s “wrong”, it’s not measured by missing goals. Sometimes, we’re doing the right things, and progress is just slower than we thought. Maybe our goals were unrealistic. I’ve certainly been guilty of that.
No, this is a conversation about what behaviors or problems are pulling us off course. What is leading you away from your priorities, core values, and vision? Like a car getting more streamlined, we need to identify behaviors and cycles that create drag on our vision. It might be financial, but it also might be bigger than that. What cycles do you need to break in your life and in your family line?
4. Do we need to update or clarify the vision?
My vision when I was 35 was very different from what it is now. So much has changed–our lived experience, our kids’ seasons of life, our financial capabilities, etc. Over time, we’ve seen parts of our guiding vision change or be left behind entirely. A few personal examples:
- Our income has grown–so should our savings targets
- Less giving “sacrificially” and more emphasis on giving sustainably
- Giving our kids more participation/ownership in family businesses
- Identifying “normalized” destructive behaviors and taking ownership
Sometimes, we just need to acknowledge where the picture of the future has changed and adjust course.
5. What will matter most 10 years from now?
Life has a way of flying at us in every season. Part of reflecting is getting honest about what feels important but, in the big picture, isn’t that important. This is a focus question.
We just finished planning and marrying off my oldest CJ. For the last year, the wedding has been a dominant part of our family activity. While something as big as a wedding is a priority, it’s not as important as helping CJ and her now-husband launch a successful marriage. We don’t want to trade good stewardship for a bigger wedding budget.
There are lots of financial examples of this, especially around areas like college education. Do you encourage your kids to attend some of the most expensive, prestigious schools (I’m resisting air quotes) if it compromises your financial independence?
Or maybe it’s about a career move. I’ve happily helped clients leave high-income, high-stress jobs for lower salaries and the ability to be far more present with their families. What matters most 10+ years from now?
Personal & Family Reflection
Take these five questions, and don’t just answer them personally. Share them with your family. When we reflect and share our answers to questions like these, we have the beginnings of a family vision and culture. In our question, we ask ourselves questions like:
- What’s your hill to climb this year?
- How can I/we (the family) support you in what’s important to you?
- What permission do we have to hold you accountable to your own goals?
I would encourage you to write down these five questions, ask your family to write down their thoughts over the weekend, and schedule a Sunday dinner (or Zoom call) to share. It doesn’t have to be formal.
But let me tell you, this practice can change your family in the best of ways. It’s not just about achieving more. It’s about doing it as a team. That’s Envizioning More–together.